It’s been a while. I didn’t mean to ignore you, I’ve been busy-ish. I haven’t been screening your calls (Okay, I’ve been screening everyone’s calls.) I meant to text you back (No I didn’t.) I’ve just had a lot going on. (Sort of true.) Let’s get together soon. (No. Let’s not.)
A porn star really did hack my Twitter account though. For the life of me I can’t figure out how to make @kfarrell705 my own account again. The daily emails of new followers for B, a European adult film star, make me laugh each day, but for real if someone could help me rectify this situation, that’d be great, thanks.
Have you ever meant to do something, but repeatedly forgot. It’s like when you have to mail something and you keep forgetting to actually put it in the mailbox and instead you just drive around with it sticking out of the visor above the passenger seat of your car. You’ve said out loud that you have to do it, but you either forget the thing or forget to stop at the place over and over. You only remember that you still have to drop it off when it’s the complete wrong time and then forget again and the vicious cycle repeats itself over and over and over. Well, that was pretty much been me writing blog posts. Sometimes I would forget and sometimes everything I wanted to write about felt silly or unimportant, so I took a sabbatical. I make my own rules.
This past fall my life switched directions yet again and I made the decision to rejoin my old roommates Joe and Carol in my childhood home. Except this time guys, I’m in the big leagues. Literally. My mom’s RIGHTFUL refusal to give up my old room as her laundry room has afforded me the privilege of moving into my brother’s old bedroom complete with football player trim and a poster of the Yankee’s roster from the 1927 World Series. I put everything I own in storage aside from the minimal basics and I quit another professional job in favor of becoming a nanny for my nephew.
There is writing occurring as well. In between bottles and diapers and working upwards of 75 hours a week, there is writing. It’s nothing that I’m willing to share with anyone yet, or maybe at all. The wheels in that big head of mine are turning, though. Trust me on that.
There’s also this bigger idea to activate myself and participate in what is going on around us. These are trying times and it seems ignorant to pretend otherwise. Searching for ways to do good, to be good are revealing themselves to me and I’m enjoying the idea that there is something we can all be doing to make things better. More on that to come soon.
If there is one thing I’ve learned in the past few months it’s that maybe we don’t always have to be doing the big things at every moment in our lives. We’re always in this rush to get to the next big thing or accomplishment that we take for granted those valleys in between the peaks. There are times for movements and there are times for stillness. It is only in those still moments that our heart’s true yearning will reveal itself.
In the past year, I’ve also made the decision (or maybe it was never really a decision, just an inevitability) to move. The time has come to take my things and go to a new place. To challenge myself in the unknown and to grow in those spots that need sunlight and water so badly. I’ve always known where I wanted to end up, I just didn’t think the stars would align for me to get there this soon. But I’m young, I have nothing tying me down to this place, so why not see what else there is.
Coming in September, I will be a FULL TIME resident of Cape May, New Jersey. My heart beats with a little more oomph each time I cross the threshold into the small seaside town filled with history, beauty, tranquility, and most importantly peace and quiet if you look in the right places. I’m excited for where this new journey will take me and what it will make of me. The creative juices are beginning to overflow with possibilities of what those better days will bring and I hope you will be there along to way to see what I’ve got planned.